Now playing:

Paramore - Playing God

Justin Bieber - One Less Lonely Girl

Papers have been pretty fine so far, I guess. Probably with the SS's source based questions which most of us found rather misleading. Shoosh. I hope and pray for the best.
O levels really do come and go very quickly; even before you know it, it is over. Now, I'm left with only one Science MCQ paper. Yay.
And after the O's, we officially need not wear the Westwood uniform anymore! Alright, probably with the exception of coming January 2010 when we get our results. Ahem. I hope I won't be the one crying. -_-
My life basically revolves around the exams for now, and I don't know what else I can talk about. Bwaha, alright anyway welcome to my boring blog. I hope you never enjoyed it.

The end.

I'm just kidding, can't you see? (:
(I pray hard for you too)

(Thanks for the cake, Ms Fong)
I wouldn't say life's been a bore, neither would I say it's been a thrill. It's a mixture of both...
Boring because it's exams, thrill because I've been staying back still 8pm every weekday in my second home called Westwood. Yes second home.

Pretty enjoyable actually, to be able to study properly and have occasional jokes with random peers. And oh yes, ah, the food of course. Okay that's not my main agenda of staying back but yeah, so happened that they provided refreshments for us. Muahaha.

The national exams are coming really fast; we're counting down days, less than two weeks. Yikes, I can feel the emergency already. Pretty sure many of us would feel the same as well, oh well.
Kudos to all of us, all the best people!

You too.


"Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror"

Exams are coming in three weeks' plus time. There's not much time left.
In a few hours' time, all graduating classes will be strutting down the aisle of the hall and going through the graduation ceremony. How time flies eh?
However, we'll still be coming back for Mock Exams next week. And very (un)fortunately, I will have it for the whole week - every single day. I don't mind though, I need practice anyway. Ha.
Alright, let me just end here with a pathetically short post.


Words have dissolved. here comes goodbye. For now, for this post.

Been two months. Are we still strong?

Picking up from setbacks have never been easy, let alone despondency. I solemnly admit I was wallowing in despair practically for the whole day, no, since yesterday and lived my life as a phantom who merely sought refuge in long hours of studying. A phantom who occasionally breaks down for various reasons. A phantom whose heart bleeds profusely when inflicted.

It wasn't easy to pick myself up again from a setback, and certainly, it was easy to smile again as well until towards the later part of the day. Special thanks to Chinming for studying with me for the past two days, it's been good to have a study-buddy. Chinming happened to be my friend from primary school, but we didn't talk much then. Hah.

Just as I began to feel better, I thought I could stay this way for the rest of my night till I fall asleep. Yet, things didn't turn out this way. I feel like I am like a loser right now, for I am only capable of bringing upon hurt to another, and only capable of getting hurt by another. It was never my intention to mess things up, but it just had to be like that. It seems like I am just doing wrong over and over again, when I painstakingly try to avoid saying the wrong things yet I am still not good enough - this is enervating, excruciating. Something which was...more than I can take.

Perhaps we are all too tired. Too tired to talk, too tired to think, too tired to feel. Probably that was why things have gone so wrong; I was not that strong. Maybe I should've known better to put up a good audio show, should've known better to have sound happy, at the least.


Congratulations to you.

It is really funny how I am addicted to Wikipedia (?) these few days. Sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Well, I don't know. I was reading up on alot of things related to singers, facets of religion, fictions, mythical characters like werewolves, vampires (-_-), paleontology, countries, languages etc etc etc. I know this sounds crazy but I do kind of enjoy reading up these stuffs and I do get carried away. Opps.
But well, I guess I should really be reading up things that are within my curriculum for now, since O levels is just round the corner instead of all these irrelevant things? Argh, you're contradicting yourself Joan! Oookay just for yesterday and today, Joany. You've gotta start mugging. You need to do well. Have faith in yourself.
And you, yes you. I have absolute faith in you, and I am certain you'll do very well. Have more faith in yourself, because "Faith trusts and needs itself more than anything else faith thinks it needs to stay alive".

Have you ever found yourself being out of place? And you don't seem to quite fit in? When all along you've been good, yet you go unnoticed, or even, unseen when another who isn't as sensible as you all this while yet gets all the deserving treatment the moment he speaking? Your words are then unheard? Or better off unspoken? Do you get forgotten? Then get remembered again when you are inescapably seen after all the others are well-attended to? And whether you are remembered, or even, recalled or not, it doesn't matter anymore? Are you disconcerted? Or do you shrug it off and simply forget? And you just move on, without wondering whoever cares about it?

Perhaps I should've known better to get used to this. Perhaps it's just a random emotion. School, home...somehow they're pretty homogeneous in terms of reign and rights. The ones more favoured get more favours, and maybe, rights. Should've known better.

Still, things aren't all that pessimistic to know that there are people/is somebody out there for me. I guess that is more than enough...right? (:

It is 12.36am right now, but I don't seem to feel very tired yet. Maybe it's because of the late dinner I've had just now that is keeping me awake. Tomorrow is public holiday, but I don't think I am going anywhere since exams are still not over. GO BURN, PROCRASTINATION!!!!!!!!

Saturday, cool air.
Tuition was good today, just that I was slightly tired. But I'm so happy because for every later half of my session I get to sit beside myself! LOL! Okay no, not myself of course, but another person who's also called Joan. Indeed, it is a small world. She's Joan Ong and I'm Joan Tong, with a surname of one-letter difference, hahaha. Hello Joany! :D
Actually, we first met last Saturday. It is really funny to be teaching a peer some wrong things but got saved in the end by Peterman (?!).Yupyup.

(it's 12.40am now)
Erm alright, actually I was supposed to publish this post but somehow I didn't get to. I don't know why.
Was watching Van Helsing just now on Channel 5 and it was really good! Suspenseful, action-packed...somehow a gothic beauty like Kate Beckinsale is always related to werewolves and vampires which I think they match pretty impeccably. Isn't it? Yup.

Anyway, here's something random.

Me: hmm, what were you reading then? was the book nice? [:
Anon: nice..e author is tasty

Hahaha, I just found that "author is tasty" hilarious, I don't know why. Maybe I'm on a tickling row today. I told you I was random!

And I'll randomly say goodnight to all for now. Random hellos with random goodbyes.

Alright, so here goes. I've changed my layout after so long, like finally? This skin is entirely made of brushes...oh well they're pretty random huh. Previously, I locked my blog for a while to find out a "cure" for my messed-up layout. I've been spending hours and hours trying to find out what went wrong, and it just turned out that my previous post was the root of all problems: incomplete tags, I suppose. To think I even thought of changing my blog, yikes. But oh well, all's well that ends well. Just, maybe.

Anyway, life's been...a drama. From mugging to sitting for papers, to going home, to getting lectured by parents, to laughing at silly family jokes, to talking on the phone, to crying, to smiling. Maybe a little too much of drama, I suppose. Somehow I don't feel settled or disciplined enough - and this is worrying. I am worrying for myself (and someone else).
Here's a note to self. Okay Joan, here's your reality: The 'O'-em-gee is coming in a month's time and you are failing subjects you shouldn't be failing. Snap yourself back here and buckle up!

I dined out with my family just now, and I wouldn't say it was totally pleasant per se. Fragment of events and nouns: Me. Last minute. Mom. Blaming. Unsmiling. Dumb. Speechless. That's all.
But when we were on the car, bro and I created quite a number of innovative antitheses like

"I'LL STARVE YOU WITH FOOD!"

"Argh, it's too bright in this dark room!"

"I sell things with money"

We created some others too, but I think this is all I can recall for now. When we got back home, bro showed me some MAD TV videos on YouTube that made me laugh my head off. HAHAHA, especially the Survivor Cook Islands. Perhaps some of you might seen this before but I'm still gonna post it here anyway:

"Continual Blatant Stereotype" LOL AT IT.
The other one was Weight Smasher where it's extremly corny, in fact, too corny that I don't wanna put it up here. You guys can search on YouTube if you want to, bwahaha (:

Enjoy, and that's all folks!
I wished I'm the one who's unwell O':

September now. 090909, how nice eh?
I've been well, I suppose. Monday's video-shooting was pretty funny, though it was pretty draggy. It was for our graduation day. Man, I think I'll miss 4G, good buddies and juniors a whole lot once I graduate. I wonder if anyone would miss me, at all? Hah. Graduate, paper chase, we'll get out of this place

Being Tuesday yesterday, where it was coincidentally a family day, we went to have lunch and went shopping at the supermarket. We even planned to go to the Chinese Swimming Club for a swim, but didn't in the end due to some complications. Forget about it.

And as for today, I felt quite constructive/useful: I went hiking with my dad in the morning, then had a straight 3-hour math tuition in the afternoon. But before I went for my tuition, daddy did fetch me to school to get my Lit Mock exam papers. And I did shit for it. -_-
Oh yes, not forgetting the tormenting blisters above my heels that I got from the hike. I swear I was having a miserable time walking in those shoes for another minute. I don't know how or why, last time when I wore that pair of shoes, it wasn't painful or whatsoever. Oh well.

But the pain is certainly lessen now, by an all-time effective medicine. Yup. (:

Ermmm, alright I think I gotta go now. Needa sleep now. Goodnight, love you all mortals!
Love you too.